Mr. Peepers escapes!

I am convinced that Mr. Peepers has escaped the Saturday Night Live set and is roaming the streets in the town where I work.

A patient came in yesterday after being beaten up. The patient was about 6 feet 4 inches and weighed a good 260 lbs. He said that some “little punk” was spreading rumors about him throughout the town. So the patient tracked down Little Punk, confronted Little Punk, an argument ensued, and the patient punched Little Punk in the head a couple of times. Little Punk, who by police reports was 5 feet 9 inches tall with big ears, then “jumped up on my chest like a f#*@ing monkey, wrapped his legs around me, and bit me in the f#*@ing nose.”

Mr. Peepers got him pretty good. Darn near took the tip of the patient’s nose off. Jumped off and whacked him in the back a couple of times with a pipe when he was done, too.

The patient left without treatment because he didn’t want to wait for the plastic surgeon.

One of the nurses and I were laughing so hard after the patient explained what happened that all day we just had to look at each other before we busted out laughing again.

I was able to find hidden camera video of Mr. Peepers’ modus operandi on YouTube. Watch it before it gets pulled by NBC. Call the police immediately if you see this hoodlum.