Never Assume
Posted by WhiteCoat on June 19, 2008
A 30-ish year old young lady comes in for evaluation of lower abdominal pain. Accompanying her is a 70-ish year old gentleman.
We go through the whole history and begin examining her. It becomes apparent that she will need to have a pelvic exam done.
We mention this to them. The older gentleman takes the cue and excuses himself from the room.
Making small talk, the nurse mentions how nice it is that her grandfather came to the ED with her.
“That’s not my grandfather.”
“I’m sorry. Is he a relative or is he just a friend?”
“Oh, he’s just the guy who pays to watch me pee.”
Too much information, lady.
I really wanted to ask her how much pee-watching goes for these days, but I didn’t have the guts.
For those of you wondering, I’m not creative enough to make this stuff up.
rlbates said
Definitely, too much information.
Hilary said
And yet there are so many jobless people out there… Just think of all the times per day they pee and could be earning income.
ButtercupRN said
Huh?
Eric said
I hate to think what she could have charged him to let him watch the pelvic. You could have made her split it with you.
I’m sure any number of people would *LOVE* to know her payor type.
E
feminizedwesternmale said
Scumbag is welcome to watch me take a dump any time, as long as he comes with fork and knife. Ooh, wait, I think I am crowning right now!
MM said
I am trying to figure out what she actually said and that you obviously misunderstood… but I can’t come up with anything!
Unless she was Bristish and the man has a foot fetish:” Oh, he’s just the guy who pays to wash me feet.”
Rogue Medic said
I agree with Eric, you could have split her fee for letting him watch the pelvic. That has to carry a premium charge.
I am surprised that he excused himself.
Maybe his perversions do not include watching pelvic exams. Weirdo.
Jamie said
That sounds like the sort of thing that my sister would say, just to mess with people’s minds. I’m allowing myself to believe that the woman you saw had a sense of humor likr my sister and she wasn’t serious about what she said. The alternative is just waaaayyyy too much information.
Katherine said
wow. That is SERIOUSLY weird.
but on the other hand…
talk about great job security!
SeaSpray said
She HAD to be messing with the nurse.
Maybe they’re dating or something.
jeffsher63 said
I’ll bet she has a live web-cam site….
James said
I don’t know – are you sure she wasn’t having a little fun with you? I mean, why would you take the guy who “pays to watch you pee” to the doctor with you?
I’m sure. She wasn’t the brightest bulb in the pack, if you get my drift.
teresaduncan said
James – so he can pay the bill, of course!
SeaSpray said
I meant the guy and patient dating.
cstair said
Whoa! that is a bit radical!
http://suburbanconnoisseurs.wordpress.com/
Becky said
Just be glad she didn’t say “He pays to have me pee on him”. Oh Fetishes;)
antioxexpress said
Whoa! TMI (too much information).
“Mac”
http://antioxexpress.wordpress.com/
http://www.greensfirst.com/5039
Nurse K said
I recently got into one of those slow-ER weird 3 am conversations with another nurse who was talking about she and her 2 best friends and how they are such good friends that they continue the party in the toilet when one of them has to piss or whatever. Like, one pees or births a brick and the others just keep right on drinking and talking right there in the bathroom with her.
I mean, there’s nothing so important nor interesting that can’t wait 30 seconds until you’re done peeing, but whatever…I guess we talk to patients while they’re peeing, may as well keep talking to your friends.
disarminglife said
It’s good to know that everyone can have a profession these days. Be all that you can be kids!
mottsapplesauce said
Maybe he came with her just in case she needed intermittent catheterization…he’d probably offer to hold the specimen cup!
I wonder what he pays her to ‘heave a Havana’. Ugh.
cathy said
Oh, I think she was just messing with your nurse. probably just another way of saying “Its none of your business who he is.”
We’ve seen this young lady before and trust me – she wasn’t messing with us. Gives me a good idea for something to use in the future, though …
mojitogirl said
It’s nice to know she’ll have job security…..unless her kidneys fail.
Who knows – maybe he’d pay to watch her have dialysis, then.
Marco said
Was she one of those drug seekers trying to score some Lasix?
alinaphoenix said
Yeah. I’ve noticed some people like to share way too much personal information. In fact, once upon a time, I had a S-I-L that used to do the same thing. O.o I know way too much about that girl’s *ss. You can read all about it at my blog http://www.alinaphoenix.com Too frickin hilarious.
:::giggles:::
Lina
Beth said
Good thing the girl wasn’t pregnant. Mr. Fetish would go broke within a week!
I actually read it in reverse the first time. Like, he’s the guy she pays to watch her pee, as proof that the urine is hers for the sake of drug testing. That made sense in my head, whereas pee-watching was much harder for my brain to accept.
I do wonder why he came with her to the ED. I may be naive, since I’ve only ever been a patient and not a professional, but the ED just doesn’t seem like a sexual place to me. I’ve never felt less sexy than wearing a gown, puking, with an NG tube, an IV, and the world’s least comfortable gurney under me, while goosebumps prickle my whole body from the penguin-freezing temperatures. Doesn’t really seem like an ideal erotic situation to me. I suppose the foley might be a huge turn-on for him…
Some people must find it sexy. My blog has gotten 438 hits from weirdos using search engines to look up the term “nurse fetish.” See the original post here.