Anyone Know Where To Fence A Rolex?
Posted by WhiteCoat on September 3, 2008
Why is it that intoxicated patients who have been dragged into the emergency department barely breathing, who have been wearing the same clothing for the past week (as evidenced by previous ED visits for the same issue), and who have no home address are always the ones to have lost their expensive watch and wallet full of money while they are in the ED being resuscitated?
Then there’s always this urban legend tale about the nurse who stole money from a patient while inserting a Foley catheter (no, the second story, not the first).
Recently, one guy was at our front desk screaming at the secretary that we “stole his $500 watch,” yet he had to wait for a friend to drive him to the hospital to yell at us because he doesn’t have a car.
Another little old lady comes in by ambulance for chest pain on a regular basis and repeatedly calls to complain that she “lost” her jewelry in the hospital after she gets discharged home. History has it that one time she called the operator so much complaining about a lost necklace that the hospital supposedly just gave her a piece of costume jewelry to stop her from calling.
It worked.
For the record:
Most hospitals have security guards catalog and guard any valuables.
If your friends or family come to the hospital shortly after you arrive, many times the staff gives your valuables to them for safekeeping.
Sometimes if no one is around, I will put people’s watches or jewelry in their clothes pocket or their purse – but I tell them I’m doing it and have them watch me.
We’re too busy doing paperwork to show the Medical Marijuana Advocates that you were screened for domestic violence, tuberculosis, MRSA, urinary tract infections, falling, low glucose levels, Legionnaire’s disease, and C. diff to worry about taking your stuff.
Besides, filling out lost valuables forms is just too time-consuming.
So if you’re missing something valuable after visiting the ED, first check the pockets of the clothing that you wore there. Then ask that sneaky son-in-law of yours where he got the money for that new plasma screen TV.
On the other hand, if the hospital billing department writes you a note that you just received a $500 credit to your hospital bill, consider your jewelry found.
nurse ratchett said
When I worked ortho in my younger days, I was accused of carting off someones old hardware removed from an ancient radial fracture. A letter actually made it to the CMO of the hospital, and into my file. Why would I want it? The patient thought I was selling it for scrap value….
mottsapplesauce said
Hubby & I have been to the hospital so many times (sometimes through the ED, sometimes for scheduled surgery), that we’ve taken the habit of removing our jewelry prior to going. Only once did my husband have to go by ambulance. After he was given a bed in the ED, he made sure to remove his jewelry & gave it to me to take back home, along with his wallet & custom wheelchair. So you’re telling me that not only do you have to deal with possible Dx scams (drug seekers) but also personal property scams as well?
Jared at The Doctor Job said
Just discovered your blog, and I must say, it’s one of the funniest and well-written out there. I look forward to the next rant.
e said
i assume that many people wearing “expensive” jewelery, really don’t know what it costs.
of course that pic is great, since rolex doesn’t print yachtmaster ii on the rotating bezel of that watch, or any of the watches they make as far as i know.
I use my cell phone to tell time and I haven’t worn a watch in years, so I have no idea about Rolex insignia. But I did snag that picture right off their site, so I hope it’s legit.
wild4words said
Loved the blog posting and, to “E” above… The Official Rolex website shows the Yacht-Master II with printed bezel… easy search pulled it up… This is what happens when I’m up reading blogs in the wee, wee hours of the morning. Still, I’m liking the reading and glad I stumbled across this writing.
Honestly, every ED visit we’ve had has been about stitching one of us up, rehydrating the pregnant lady, or ensuring the kids were going to survive whatever horrid illness cropped up in the middle of the night and was freaking us out (or whatever object the then-small child had shoved up his nose in an apparent moment of exploration – go figure kids…). The staff have always been efficient, kind and reassuring. Just what we needed, when we needed them. I can’t believe they have to worry about this kind of thing on top of it…
crankylitprof said
You could always avoid such shenanigans if you posted a new policy:
“Any and all valuables will be secured in the person they belong to.”
With a graphic rendering of watches, rings and jewelry put in to a nice plastic bag and jammed up the ass of the patient. S/he will always be aware of exactly where their valuables are, and if they go missing, will certainly notice. plus, it heads off anyone looking to boost them, as the patient/mobile safe will certainly notice any attempt to steal.